The Second Chance Weekend

 

 

This past weekend, I was given a unique and special opportunity to participate in an event that blew away even my wildest expectations, was a true blast, and was also very healing. It was a Second Chance Prom that, with some additions, turned into a full blown girls' weekend, attended by some amazing people I've always wanted to meet, and some I was simply eager to get a hug from. 

I've written in the past few blogs about what I've called "The Next Phase in my Transition," and I've alluded to (if not full blown blurted out) about some drama that sorta kicked off the whole thing. Something I'm not sure I've shared before was that, other than how I treated others in my reaction to that incident, I'm so glad it happened, because the growth that has come from it has been astonishing. Welp, there were a couple of people who were involved in that incident (i.e. a couple of people I treated very poorly) attending this weekend, and so I'd finally get the opportunity to do something I've really wanted to do: give them each a big hug and take steps towards healing from what happened. Spoiler alert: I got to do just that... each one of them got a huge warm hug from me, and I could feel the warmth they were sharing back in their hug. It was a truly special moment, and something I really needed (for myself) in order to move on. 

So here's how this all went down... About two months ago, I was putting together a plan to visit my gal pal Natalie, who has become like a sister and best friend to me. We'd settled on a date and location when she alerted me that the same weekend was when our mutual friend Meghan was holding her annual second chance prom with TriPride Tennessee (yes, in a deep red part of a deep red state). She told me that she wanted to go, and wanted me to come with her. Natalie was fully aware of the drama that happened in the past fall, how heavy it was on me, and how eager I was to heal from it, so I don't think she was surprised when I asked "is that a good idea (for me to attend this weekend)?" She thought so, and encouraged me to think about it. I decided to run the idea by a few people, all of whom knew something had happened to varying degrees (not in an "airing my dirty laundry" kind of way, but everyone knew that I had done something in the past that I deeply regretted, and that this event would be attended by the people I mistreated, though I made sure to leave names out of it), and it was unanimous: I should go! 

After a few messages, and confirmations, I was all set. My friend Olive was arranging an AirBnB for people who were coming out of town, I decided to fly into my friend Natalie's town to rent a car, and our mutual friends Ana and Melody would join us on a road trip from New York to Tennessee. And so it was...

I flew out to Upstate New York last Thursday, was greeted by Natalie at the airport, and we loaded into a car and drove to Connecticut to pick up Ana and Melody. That night, we had awesome Hibachi at a place Ana and her wife Liz frequent, and then checked into a hotel to get *some* sleep (turns out we were so excited that we only got like two hours of sleep). We woke up at 5am the next morning and hit the road! 

 

The next part of this story comes from a series of Instagram posts I made about the weekend: 

The drive, and community in that car was just as exciting as the prom was going to be. We shared 11 hours of laughter, stories, an epic game of “Kiss-Marry-Kill,” (but replace "Kiss" with the F-word) and made a few stops along the way. 

 

 

When we arrived at our AirBnB, we were warmly greeted by our friends Kimchi, Olive, and her wife (who goes by “Daddy”). I follow all three of them on social media, and it was so nice to finally meet them in person, and I can say they are even more awesome in-person as they are online, and that’s saying something. We then got changed, touched up makeup, and went out to dinner with a large group of IG friends.

Once we got to the restaurant, I saw our friends Millicent and Scarlett, waiting for us along with their wives. In fact, including Olive and her wife, there were three married couples at the dinner… I was already missing Jamie (she had a concert to go to in NorCal, so she stayed back), and I so wished she was by my side too… but don’t worry, I talked all about her. Everyone exchanged hugs, there was lots of laughs, amazing food, and warm community. 

That night, we went back to the AirBnB, and Olive’s wife Daddy pulled out a bottle of tequila and some mixers, and we spent the next few hours just talking and enjoying some drinks… to say that this was the kind of community I’ve been so eager for would be an understatement. It was amazing. 

 

The next day, we all got up, ate some leftovers, and lounged around a bit. Then Meghan, who was helping coordinate the prom (along with other awesome events she arranges) showed up after finishing final preps for the prom. In addition to Scarlett, Meghan was one of my very first followers, and someone I have shared much of my journey with, even if just all online. It was so great to finally meet her. I’m really thankful for the encouragement, accountability, and inspiration I’ve gotten from her (and everyone else as well). When it was time to say hello, we shared a warm hug, and I’d now finally met everyone I had been so excited but also so anxious to meet. That hug we shared was both meaningful and healing… when I talk about second chances, getting to come, give her (and everyone for that matter) a big hug, and support what she’s doing was a special one to me.

We then decided to crack open the Jacuzzi that our place had, and Olive and Kim took LOTS of photos of all of us pool partying it up… seeing how much fun they were having taking photos and creating new content gave me a new perspective on content creators… I could see the joy in their faces as they were posing, finding new angles, and just getting into it. That put such a smile on my face… after they were done, they jumped in with us and we all lounged. After a little sunburn and pruned skin, we all got out, ordered a pizza (great idea Ana), got showered, and ready for the prom. I totally ate it while coming back into the house after looking at the outdoor Jacuzzi… other than a bruised ego, I was alright.

 

 

 

After we all got out of the hot tub, we showered, changed, and glammed up for the prom. I’m a sucker for formal wear anyway, but I must say our group really brought it in our outfits. Us t-girls and our cis partners sure know how to clean up! 

 

After spilling my makeup (thank you Kim and Olive for helping me clean it up), slipping into my gown (thank you Ana and Natalie for helping me get into it), we took group pictures and were ready to go!

There was such a healthy crowd of people at the prom… it brought so much joy to me to see such community in small towns in red states. There was laughter, hugs, smiles, selfies, and community everywhere. I genuinely struggle with trying to understand why such community is so controversial in our country because, frankly, there was nothing but positivity. 

 

When the time came for a group picture, we all got together, and while the lighting was awful, to be included in this group of people I’ve become friends with over the past several years meant more to me than words can describe. 

 

 

 

 

After the prom was over, some of us switched into party clothes and went to New Beginnings, an LGBTQ+ bar in the town, watched some drag, did some dancing, and took some photos. My highlight of that moment was seeing my friend Natalie get to the dance stage and just joyfully let loose. At about 1:30, we all loaded back up into the van, and joyfully drove back to the house. What a weekend!

 

 

 

Nurses Olive and Kim at your service! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Conclusion: The next day, we got up early (Thanks, Ana!), loaded up and drove back to New England, exhausted, but so full of joy and thankfulness. The drive home was a bit rougher than the drive down, I think mostly because we all knew we had to get back to our normal lives. But there wasn't a single soul in that car that hadn't been positively impacted by the weekend. I'm already hoping to come to next year's prom, with or without a road trip crew (in that case, I'd just fly in to a nearby area).

The reason why I called this The Second Chance Weekend only has slightly to do with there being a Second Chance Prom. To me, this weekend represented a second chance that I was so eager for; not a single person I interacted with during this time had anything less than warmth or love towards me, and seeing as there were at least a few that I was awful to in the past, I can't put into words how much that means to me. Transitioning is a very dirty process, with periods of angst, lashing out, and just plain messiness, and sometimes that involves being less than kind to others. This past weekend, I never felt left out, looked down upon, or begrudged by anyone... everyone was sweet, inclusive, and kind to me. I felt sisterhood with all of them, had so much joy, and truly felt like I was given a second chance. To break bread with, get hugs from, have laughter with, and take selfies with each of them was beyond healing. I got on my flight home on Tuesday with a full heart, a boulder off my back, and excitement to continue in this new phase of my transition without the shadow of my awful behavior hanging over it. I really hope that, whether it's for my vow renewal, a future second chance prom, a girl's weekend, or just bumping into each other at an event like Keystone, that I cross paths with every one of these wonderful people again.

Some thank you's: This weekend was especially significant for me for a number of reasons. I crossed off like half of my "people I hope to meet someday" list, got to break bread with people who have been true friends through my social media interactions, and even got to meet some of my earliest followers from waaaaaay back when I started my Alicia social media accounts in 2020. This was also a key step in my healing journey as I got to hug and fellowship with some amazing people that I wasn't so amazing to... I've apologized ad-nauseam to all of them, but it was special to give them all hugs and show them a more joyful side of me. Finally, it was just a blast to dress up, road trip, and make new memories. This is the kind of stuff I'm seeking in this new phase of my transition. And it was a direct hit this time. However, there are a few people who made this weekend happen, and I want to thank them from the bottom of my heart (they are all amazing people, so here are their Instagram Handles if you need some inspirational t-girls, genderfluid folx, crossdressers, partners, and trans women to follow): 

• To Meghan (@meghan.girltime), thank you for always rallying the troops through events like this. While I know it's a group effort, your fingerprints are all over these events, and there's a reason why people flock from across the country to attend them. Also, holy crap, you looked amazing in your gown! I'll always be thankful for you, Meghan!
• To Olive (@olive_is_a), thank you for always being so friendly and supportive to me. You've always been that way, offering an ear, encouragement, and graciousness. Also, thankful for your overflowing joy and goofiness, which can quickly brighten up even the saddest days. Thank you for also arranging the AirBnB for this weekend, and making mountains move so we can all be in community together. 
• To "Daddy," (Olive's Wife, @llamameo_daddy), thank you for being so bubbly, positive, and insightful. Also, supportive spouses are worth many times their weight in gold, so thank you for being so supportive and loving to Olive, to all of us in the community, and to the other partners in your circle. Also, that mixed drink was something of legends. Thank you! 
• To Ana (@divasapata), thank you for being my kind of crazy, for spending hours on the phone with me convincing me that coming to this event was a good idea, and that everyone was just as eager to be in community with me as I was with them. Not to mention, but OMG your gown at the prom was stunning! Very theme-appropriate (the theme was Greek) but also very elegant. I'm excited to get to know you more as time goes on... you're an awesome friend!
• To Aunt Millicent (@aunt.millicent), thank you for being so warm to me. Last fall, when I was going through it, you offered me so much in the way of empathy, compassion, and counsel, and have only continued to do so. When we parted ways, you told me to "Never forget, you are a piece of art in progress," and that resonated with me so well... art can oftentimes be ugly, but the end result is very beautiful. I promise you that I'm keeping that to heart as I keep growing and learning. I'm going to make you proud.
• To Scarlett Love (@thecdscarlettlove), thank you for being one of my very first followers, someone who oftentimes offered me a lighthearted take on something I was struggling with, and for your friendship. You are a sweet person who makes the world a better place by being in it.
• To Kim (aka Kimchi, @kimcheezie), thank you for your goofiness (I loved the selfies you took on my phone!), positivity, your amazing pictures and photo-skills, and your graciousness. We only met this past year, and yet you've seen both my worst and my best, and have still chosen to be in community with me. I promise I'm worth it, and I hope you've seen that. 
• To Jennifer Marie (@luvjennifermarie), you have been more instrumental in my journey than you'll ever know. Through the Jennspire sisterhood, your coaching business, your workshops on Gender Equilibrium, and your background with much of the community, you've helped me realize that the season I'm in is actually an exciting and dynamic part of my transition. You helped me understand that I needed to go on this trip, even if just for myself. You've helped me see the investment I'm making in myself by going to things like Keystone, making time for community, both in person and through social media, and that finding my Gender Equilibrium (TM) involves more than just "I'm content with identifying as a transgender woman!" You also helped me do a lot of work to prepare for this trip, helping me see the elements of it that are essential to my journey, and the potential for healing that it would bring. I'm proud to be one of your clients, sisters, and friends. (Also, shameless plug, if you are interested in better understanding your gender journey, check out Jenn's work at http://www.jennspire.com )
• To Julie Rubenstein (@foxandhanger), I only met you at Keystone a few months ago, and for some reason, you quickly took a shine to me. In that time, you've put together a lookbook with cute outfits (like the one below!) that I could wear to work, on adventures, and so on. But you've also provided a new perspective as an ally of the transgender community, and someone who I've been vulnerable with. In addition to Jenn, you helped me see how important this trip was in my ability to continue to grow and better myself as a trans woman, to heal, and to do better for my fellow dolls and gal pals.

 

• To Natalie (@natalie_on_a_journey), when we met up on Monday to hang out after the weekend, I asked you if you realized that I consider you one of my best friends... and I really meant that. I've watched you explore your gender identity over the past few years, find your community, and warmly welcome me into it. You're the person I've shared some of my biggest struggles and greatest triumphs with through this journey, and you're the one who has given me the privilege of watching you slowly become your true self, asking the questions you needed to ask, and finding a home as Natalie. I can't put into words what your friendship means to me. Thank you also for floating the idea of joining you at this weekend, for encouraging me and assuring me that I'd be welcomed and loved by everyone, and for being by my side during it. Every girl deserves sisters, and I'm glad you're one of mine! 
• To my wife Jamie (@periwink82), holy crap, I could write a whole blog just on how amazing you are!!! You deserve the world from me, and I'm going to try to give you as much of it as I can. You didn't bat an eye when I asked you if I could go on this weekend, and you were always there for a quick chat when I needed it. You've stood by me as I've changed, and have found love with Alicia the same way you did with Terrence. Your patience and graciousness towards me as I've transitioned is the stuff of legends, and I wish I could bottle it up and sell it to every trans person on the planet (It'd make us very rich, haha!)... the world is a better place because you are in it, and I've seen that firsthand. I'm a better person because of you, and I hope I've been able to bless you a fraction of how you have blessed me. I love you Jamie, to the edge of the universe and back! <3 <3 <3

This list isn't exhaustive, but these are the people I either confided in, got encouragement from, or welcomed me with open arms this past weekend. It was easily a highlight of 2025 (and considering how many amazing things I've done so far this year, that's saying something... it's saying even more considering how crappy our world is right now with Agent Orange in charge, and how desperately needed weekends like this are!). As I said above, I hope to see every one of these ladies in person again, regardless of the venue. 

I've got one or two more Instagram posts to share about this weekend, but for the most part, I've spilled my heart out on this blog, and hope someone finds it helpful/inspirational/encouraging. Just know that, regardless of who you are, you deserve love, community, friendship, sisterhood (or brotherhood). You also deserve grace, forgiveness, and understanding. If you've messed up many times like I have, don't think that means everything is over... sometimes it might be with certain people, but we all deserve opportunities for healing and new growth. 

We all deserve a second chance. I'm thankful I got mine! 

Hugs!

-Alicia