Girls, Gowns, and Growth: The 2026 Keystone Conference

 

What do you call an Alicia, a Kara, and two Natalies? 

This past weekend was the 16th annual Keystone Conference in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. While it has a conference-y feel to it (badges with ribbons, workshops, coffee breaks, etc), it's honestly more of a big party for crossdressers and transgender folx than anything else. This is my second year going, and I think it's going to be a MUST from now on. This year was a bit different for me, however, because while I went with a completely blank slate last year, this year, several of my friends were going on top of the people who I met at last year's conference. So I wanted and needed to manage both being outgoing and meeting new people with making space to enjoy friendships with girls that I may only see once or twice a year. On top of that, I was also leading a workshop on coming out, and wanted to make sure that I did a good job at that too. 

With all of that being said, this year was honestly heavier than last year. There were tears flowing, deep conversations happening, and lots and lots of emotions on display, and let me tell you this...

...It Was Awesome! 

I don't feel like this is the place to share much about the conversations that happened because so many of them were so personal, but I will say that several people I know of walked away with some serious food for thought and encouragement to live their best lives, including me. It was incredibly deep and powerful, and I'm thankful for every second of it. 

But don't get me wrong... there was lots of fun stuff too! 

On Thursday, my gal pal and sister Natalie arrived, and we instantly started tearing it up. The conference was hosting a dance party that we went to, and I tore it up on the runway.

 

I'm too sexy for the runway!

 

I also have video of us singing "In The Navy" together, which was so funny! 

 

On Friday, my lifestyle coach Julie arrived, and all three of us started making trouble. 

 

We called ourselves the "Key-Stoners." I'll let you interpret that yourself.

 

Making trouble! 

But before we could make too much trouble, I had a workshop to lead. I was honestly nervous because I didn't know what to expect in terms of turnout and crowd involvement... then Crystal shows up... then Natalie... then Julie and Savannah... then Kara... then Olive... and the room completely filled up! Still, now that I had this many captivated people in the room, I was nervous for another reason... I hoped I had prepped well enough and was ready to lead the workshop... and it showed. The first few minutes, I was nervous, timid, and almost apologetic. But once I got that plane off the ground, it flew beautifully, and the workshop went without a hitch! 

 

I look like I do this for a living... oh wait, I do!

By the time the workshop was over, I was ready to party! Which I did. I threw on my favorite little red dress, grabbed a long island iced tea, and tore it up on the Karaoke stage. 

Julie and I... No, not that Julie, this Julie! She's the awesome lady that coordinates Paint the Town every year. I'm so glad I got to see her at Keystone! 

This year, I promised not to scream on the Karaoke stage (long story...), and I didn't. What I did do was sing "Backstreet's Back, Alright!" to a very captive crowd. And Julie (not the Paint the Town Julie, the Key-Stoner Julie!) got up and started dancing with me. Natalie took a good video of it, which I'll share here: 

 

Everybody!!! Alicia's Back Alright!!! 

 

Natalie went up next and closed the night off by singing "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit, and that was all she wrote for the night... well, okay, we all stayed up and kept drinking and partying. Then, at about 1am, a bunch of people who went to a nearby gay bar came back and we all hung out in front of the hotel for a while. More hugs, laughter, smiles, and memories were had. I honestly didn't want the night to end, but we were all so tired...

 

Then came Day 4... the heaviest day of the conference. But still awesome! 

 

Waking up on Saturday, I was still charged with energy from the night before and ready for more. But the heaviness of it being the last day started to sink in... after this day, it'd be time to pack up and go home and back to reality. But I still had fun planned for the day. I got up at about 10am, didn't bother doing my makeup or hair because it was going to be done by an expert, threw on my dress and headed down to the last couples session of the conference. I had to sneak out a few minutes early to make it to my makeup appointment, but made it in time. Casey, my makeup artist, was a former meteorologist, so we had lots to talk about (woot-woot!). Afterwards, I was able to slip into the dining hall for lunch, and Natalie had saved me a seat. We then went to the vendor area, ran into my wife Jamie, and then headed off to a session on gender affirming surgeries, since that's something we are both looking into. The session informative. 

 

Then, it was time for the last session of the conference... our friend Savannah's! Her and Julie (Key-Stoner Julie, not Paint The Town Julie!) co-host The Fox and the Phoenix podcast, a wonderful weekly podcast geared mostly towards the MTF crossdresser community, but also does a lot to lift up the transgender and gender-expansive communities as well. The room they put Savannah in was WAY TOO SMALL, and by the time she started, it was standing room only. One thing I loved about how Savannah carried herself was how lighthearted she was anytime someone came in late... she didn't let it affect her, and had so much fun with the crowd. She's an excellent communicator and teacher, and beautiful to boot! 

 

Quiet everyone! Professor Savannah is talking!

 

Afterwards, us Key-Stoners took a fun selfie together, hung out with others who attended the workshop, and then went outside for some fresh air and a heart-to-heart (told you this day was pretty heavy). 

 

Key-Stoners do it again! This time with Kim and Kara! 

Then for the grand finale... the Gala! My friend Natalie told me that she picked out a dress that was very out of character for her, but beautiful, I was going to wear an outfit that Julie helped put together for me, and Jamie was going to break in a new dress herself. We all looked fabulous! As did everyone else in the gala. 

Isn't Jamie Lovely... Oh, and I kinda look nice too!

My Gender Identity Coach Jenn, her partner Karla, and me!

Kim (who goes by Kimchi) and me. 

Natalie's rocking that blue!

Olive and I. Love this girl! 

The Fox, The Phoenix, and The Alicia, Version 2.0. 

After the gala, there was drinking and dancing for several hours... and after that, with the exception of my tuckered out wife Jamie, all of us went downstairs to the hotel lobby/bar for what I'd consider to be the most special moment of the entire conference. While there were a ton of people I was looking forward to being in community with during this conference, there was a shorter list of people whom I was super eager to sit down with, break bread with, and converse with in depth... Natalie, Julie, Kim, Olive, Jenn, Karla, and a few others, and without exception, all of us were down in that lobby hanging out and fellowshipping. It felt like a dream come true. 

Oh, and one of those happened too (a dream coming true)... you see, in the weeks leading up to Keystone, I started having different, weird dreams about stuff (like being drafted into the Navy, haha), but I also had a few pretty powerful dreams. In one of those dreams, one of the girls I listed above wanted to have a heart-to-heart conversation with me about my confidence, my tendency to over-apologize, and the sometimes low view of myself that I have. Well, on Saturday night, that happened... I was thanking a friend for coming to my workshop, and she told me that the first five'ish minutes of my talk were honestly "meh" because I seemed very timid and almost apologetic while still getting a feel for the crowd... but once I got going, it was an awesome workshop. She encouraged me to be confident from the very first second, regardless of crowd. This led to a conversation that I honestly needed, and even a few tears from me. The person who talked to me is someone I think really highly of, and also someone whom I haven't always been the best towards in the past, so to hear her say what she said to me meant more than I can describe. I feel really thankful for that conversation, and that moment, and I also feel that it's pretty cool that something I'd literally dreamt about (same person, same topic, etc) actually came true. 

After that, all of us hung out in the lobby until everything started shutting down... once the lights were turned off, it was clear they wanted us to go to bed, and thus Keystone was over. 

The next morning, Natalie stopped by my room for a goodbye hug, I bumped into Julie down in the hotel lobby, gave Mother Grace (this amazing transgender priest) a big hug, and checked out, ready to fly home with a full heart and lots of memories. 

This was the second year I've done Keystone, and hopefully there will be many more years to come! I think it will be an excellent networking, professional development, and fun party experience for many years in the future, and I hope to continue participating in it. I mentioned in my previous blog that the idea of going to Keystone in the first place was something that was birthed out of an incident that, while unfortunate, I'm really glad happened. I think about all of the amazing people I've met, and friendships I've forged and strengthened because of that incident. I'm thankful that I'm continuing to build on that momentum and making space for more friends and relationships. I see Keystone being a continuous source for that growth in the future. I've gone to another conference before in Atlanta (The Atlanta Comfort Conference), and while it was lovely, I'd say Keystone is more bang for your buck, so if choosing between the two, it's Keystone all the way. 

I do have so many things to look forward to... in a few weeks, I'm taking a birthday trip to Minneapolis to see my friend/favorite blogger Hannah McKnight and then I turn 41. I'm then ending the school year with a girl's weekend trip that is quickly turning into a trip to Provincetown, a very LGBTQ+ friendly city, and who knows what other trouble I may or may not get into, haha! 

All of that to say that I'm so thankful for my experience at Keystone this year! If you went and were a part of my weekend, thank you so much! If I missed you this year, I hope to see you next year. 

Hugs!

-Alicia