Three Years and One Gender Later...

I've shared my story of coming out to so many, and even in previous blogs, so I won't bore you to death with the details, but I will share a little summary here. My coming out process occurred during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, at a time where, in California, we had a set of tiers related to the risk level of catching/being hospitalized from COVID-19. These tiers had different levels of restrictions and precaution measures needed, and for about a year, they were a major part of everyday life. Well, in the process of coming out, I created my own tier list of people to come out to, based upon my projected level of support from them. The three tiers were: 

Green Tier - People who had, at one time or another, explicitly voiced support for the LGBTQ+ and Transgender community. - I started coming out to them in 2019 and all throughout 2020. These were mostly individual conversations because the number of people I needed to talk to was fairly low. 

Yellow Tier - People who have neither voiced support or opposition to the LGBTQ+ and Transgender community. This was probably the largest and most diverse group, consisting of colleagues, family (since the yellow tier was the largest, I decided to fully come out to my family prior to coming out to the yellow tier), friends, some old church friends who had indicated to some degree that they were at least empathetic to the LGBTQ+ community, and so on. I came out to my Yellow Tier on New Year's Eve, ringing in 2021. The vast majority, almost a totality (with a few exceptions) supported me.

Red Tier - Pretty much everyone else... old pastors of mine, church friends I expected to be largly unsupportive, people I knew were opposed to the LGBTQ+ community, and basically my full coming out. 

Well the day that I ended all hiding and fully came out to my Red Tier (and therefore everyone else) was early in the morning of June 12th, 2021... three years ago today! I'll confess that I had been up late, ready to burst, and had a *little* bit of liquid courage in me (by no means drunk, but definitely with my inhibitions down). I wrote a long, somewhat ranty facebook post (basically calling out all of the arguments that I thought I'd hear from people who would oppose it). Here's a screenshot of the post (Trigger warning: I do use the F-slur in this post as a quotation of how many people view LGBTQ+ people... but I also clarified that it was a quotation and that I, in no way, believe that): 

I actually tried coming out in 2011, with a significantly smaller support system at the time, and had a very rough response (I was blasted to Kingdom Come with "Tough Love"). When I sent out this post, I had a HUGE support system, and I also had a large number of Red Tier people already aware that I was trans. I ran it by Jamie before I posted it, and when I woke up the next morning, fearing some massive fallout, I was very blessed and surprised by the huge amount of love and support I had waiting for me. That night, Jamie and I went out for Fondue and then a drive to a lighthouse (lighthouses are a big symbol of our relationship because our first date was at a lighthouse, and I proposed to her eight years later at the same lighthouse). 

Let's just say that I was blown away by this, and really felt empowered to begin actually transitioning. Within a few weeks, I was starting laser hair removal, and within six months, I was clicking my heels into a classroom! 

Three years and one gender later, I'm now out, proud, transitioning, and living my best life as my true self! 

All that being said, there's a good image I once saw and want to implore to all of you: It is MUCH nicer outside of the closet, but if you do not feel safe being out, I'll guard the door for you! Don't come out if you don't feel ready, but when you are, know that there are a lot of people who will be here for you! I am so, so thankful for those who have been here for me!

Hugs!

-Alicia