Finding Sisterhood

 Note: This blog post may seem a little more discombobulated... I wanted to get it out as quickly as possible while the memories are still fresh in my mind. 

The Girl's Weekend I've always wanted to have. 

I'm not going to lie here, I'm coming off of a huge high right now and I'm feeling really thankful. 

I've written, pretty ad-nauseam about my quest for sisterhood, such as in this blog. I've also written about the incident that triggered the search for sisterhood... a girl's weekend trip that I felt pretty rejected from (I think the coordinator and I will always disagree about how that whole thing went down, but regardless, the incident left me feeling very left out and unwanted), but as I mentioned in a prior blog, I'm glad the incident happened, because it led to some incredible things, and sent me on a journey that, honestly, has made me a much better person. You can consider this to be a sequel to those blogs, because of two really cool things...

First, I've found sisterhood. I've written about both of these wonderful people here before, but I genuinely consider them amongst my best friends, and have told them, pretty ad-nauseam (probably too much, to be honest) how thankful I am for them and their friendship. They are my friends Natalie and Ana

(Left) Natalie, (Right) Ana, and myself at Karaoke Night!

 

Natalie and I go somewhat way back... we started following each other sometime in 2022, which was the year my transition truly kicked into gear. She is a fellow plus sized trans woman (though she identifies as Non-binary) who is gorgeous, but even more so, a kindhearted soul. One of my first impressions of her was that she was always very stylish and well put-together, and so anytime she'd post, I'd always "like" react her content... and she'd always respond with a kind thank you or a hello. Something I loved about watching her was seeing her ask many of the same questions I asked early in my journey into becoming Alicia, and coming up with her own answers. Little by little, we began talking to one another through Instagram's private messenger, and shortly after that incident I mentioned above happened, we decided to plan a meet-up while I was on the east coast. We hit it off very well during that first get-together, and have seen each other a handful of times sense. Nowadays, we regularly chat with one another about our day, what's going on, what goals we have, and just about whatever. I've drawn close to her, and she's truly become one of my best friends. 

Ana came into my picture a bit later than Natalie... we didn't start interacting with one another until early 2025. I actually met her through Natalie, who met her while serving as a bridesmaid at our friend Olive's wedding back in 2023. She's also a fellow plus-sized (though she's on the smaller side of plus-sized IMO) transgender woman who began her transition just a couple of years ago. What's amazing is that she quickly grew on me. She's a more free-spirited goofy kind of person who I can flip the bird to, and she'd laugh and flip it right back to me... I had a few friends like that as Terrence, and while a few of them would come at me with "I'm better than you" kind of energy, I also had a few (like my old roommate Colin) who would treat me as an equal, and I always felt the safest around those kind of people (the ones who would you insult and would insult you, but it always came from a lighthearted, and equal-among-each-other place)... I've quickly felt that way around Ana. My first big impression of her came in mid-2025, when Natalie presented me with an opportunity that I really needed given that incident, but was feeling too scared to pull the trigger on. Ana spent HOURS on the phone with me encouraging me to take Natalie up on the opportunity, imploring me that it would be a great opportunity to finally meet many of the people I'd hoped to meet at that girl's weekend, give those I wronged a big hug, and get healing and closure from the whole thing. To add to that, Ana even came with Natalie and I. That event became what I affectionately call Second Chance Weekend. Had it not been for Ana's encouragement, I probably wouldn't have gone on that trip. 

I was working on another, unfinished blog a few weeks ago, and started taking inventory of the people in my life I consider close friends, and in practically every metric, these two bubbled up to the top of the list. I genuinely consider them my best friends, and I'm so thankful for their sisterhood. Literally the only caveat I can think of to having either of them as besties is that we are separated by an entire continent... they live on the East Coast, while I live on the West. But that takes me to the second "really cool thing..." 

I got my girl's weekend... and then some!!!

One of the reasons why I signed up for that ill-fated girl's weekend back in 2024 in the first place was a desire for not just sisterhood, but to experience the vulnerability that comes when a group of crossdressers and transgender women live under the same roof. I still follow most of the girls who went on that weekend, and if you look at their profiles, you'll see glam, high-femme, well put together looks out in the clubs, out to dinner, being silly, and making memories... but what you don't see is at the end of the night, they go back to the house they are renting, the wigs and makeup come off, and they look, well, drab. We all do. It's still a huge source of dysphoria for me... while almost four years of HRT has helped, I could still pull off a guy look pretty easily if I wanted to. Part of what I was hoping for during that weekend was to see these bombshells on social media looking, well, more human. That vulnerability with one another makes space to not just go easier on one another, but also on yourself. And not everyone is comfortable enough with doing it... I can remember going to visit my blogger friend Hannah the weekend after that girl's weekend happened, and we just so happened to book a makeover at the same studio in the morning (totally by coincidence), and what I thought would be a surprise opportunity for girl talk while getting our makeup done instead turned into a valuable lesson for me... Hannah turned her back to me and confessed that she was uncomfortable with anyone she knew seeing her without her makeup on... I almost wanted to respond with "oh, you don't have to worry about me, I'm safe" but quickly realized that wasn't the point... if she wasn't comfortable with me seeing her without her makeup, that's totally valid and something I have no right to take personally or make about me. Still, I yearned for the kind of vulnerability that those girls on that girl's weekend enjoyed just the previous weekend, and while I wasn't going to get it with Hannah, I needed to find sisterhood that would make space for that. Why is that so important to me? Well, as I wrote above, I think there's something humbling and also affirming to see other well-put together girls not looking the most well-put together. But it really takes close friendship, and as I say, sisterhood to find that. In hindsight, while it would have been nice to see someone like Olive or Millicent, or even Meghan let their guard down a little bit (though I did get that chance during Second Chance Weekend), the truth is that while they are my friends, they aren't close friends like Natalie or Ana are... it makes sense that I wouldn't see them at their most vulnerable, nor does it make sense to be my most vulnerable around them. 

To keep this from going into a tangent, let me just say that I finally got that opportunity for vulnerability with the two best people I could have asked for it with... Natalie and Ana (along with my wife Jamie, and Ana's wife and partner Liz and Mel). You see, I just got back from a nine-day vacation that originally was supposed to be just a long weekend with them all, but we were all having so much fun that we extended the trip an extra three days. We rented an Air-BnB in Provincetown, Massachusetts (a VERY LGBTQ+ town on the edge of Cape Cod), and planned our own girl's weekend. Jamie and I red-eyed it to Albany to meet up with Natalie, where we picked up a rental car (I paid for the car, Natalie did all of the driving... fair trade if you ask me), and made the 5-hour drive to Provincetown. 

Road Trip! And I'm wearing the same clothes and same makeup I was working in the day before!

We pulled up to our Air-BnB, which turned out to be a fucking mansion! Three-stories, three-bedrooms, three bathrooms, two balconies and a hot tub with a giant kitchen and dining room, huge living room, and tons of space for the six of us to spread out when we got sick of each other... which we really didn't. Upon arrival, Ana's wife Liz and her partner Mel prepped this incredible dinner of steak, chicken, vegetables and sides, and we all settled in with a few glasses of wine and a little THC (hey, it's legal!). After dinner, the wives settled in for a good night's sleep, but us four trans women were too amped up, so we went to a dance party in PTown. I didn't know what to expect, and honestly feared that it would be a little too spicy for me... but it turned out to just be a fun party where everyone was wearing their lingerie. What happened behind closed doors, I don't know (and honestly don't want to know... I've heard stories), but what happened out on the dance floor was just good old fashioned fun. I wore a top that was not something I'd be caught dead in anywhere else... but what the hell, I'll share a picture here...

Natalie's looking hot... I'm looking... not! 

What a great first night! The next morning, I got all dressed up, and walked into town with Natalie... it was about a mile and change each way, and we got caught in the rain doing it, but it was great. The entire group then partook in a LGBTQ+ tradition... brunch! 

The top item on the Gay Agenda... Brunch!

 

Cafe Heaven was yummy! I was still in weight loss mode (hadn't quite let myself get into vacay mode yet) so I had an egg white something, but it was still delicious. We then explored the town a bit before walking back home to order pizza for dinner. 

That night, I got a real taste of the vulnerability I was looking for. Natalie took her wig off, we all took our makeup off, we all slipped into bathing suits (um, yeah, let's say that...), and jumped into the hot tub. For the next two hours, it was just girl talk, despite being half naked and with none of our image-enhancing products on our bodies, it felt like three girls bonding. 

I got an even sharper taste of vulnerability the next day. Overnight, I'd had a bad dream (I've since shared it with both Ana and Natalie, but I won't share it here because it would take too long to explain), and woke up the next morning in a melancholic mood. I put on my happy face and tried to go on with the day, but it was clear that something was up. Jamie and I had set aside a few hours to just be by ourselves where we went to see Nina West perform, and while I loved her performance, my mind was just on that bad dream and the feeling that I didn't quite fit in with the group... or thought I didn't. 

Nina West!!! I've wanted to meet her ever since she was the Pride spokesperson for Lane Bryant!

We all met back up and had a TERRIBLE Italian dinner. Don't worry, I'm not hurting anyone's feelings here... all six of us thought it sucked. Poor Natalie fell out of her chair, Ana forgot her cheese pills, and the food was just awful. None of us were in a good mood that night. We went back home and didn't really say much. Natalie ended up just going to bed without saying anything, and a few minutes later, I did the same thing. It wasn't even five minutes later that I got a text from a concerned Ana:

"You Okay, Love?"

I responded, and we talked for a few minutes about things, but I didn't go too into detail. I wish I had... but something that really stood out was how much she cared about me. 

The next day, we had a 90 minute drive down the cape to go thrifting. Ana, Liz, and Mel went in Ana's truck while Natalie, Jamie, and I went in our car. Almost as soon as we pulled out of the driveway, Natalie wanted to talk to be about how I was doing. We ended up having an hour long heart-to-heart about why I was feeling down, and I felt the same theme of care and concern that I'd felt from Ana. Truly, these were my sisters. She reassured me in some ways, challenged me in others, and just loved on me the whole time. It meant more than I could ever write about here. 

Thrifting was fun, but being a fairly large girl, I have bad luck finding stuff. We then went for a better (than what we had the night before) lunch, and some mini-golfing before we went home, and got ready for Karaoke night. I made the foolish decision to wear high heeled boots that night, but fuck it, I don't regret it one bit. We all drank, each of us got at least one song in, and had a blast! 
 

I attempted to sing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." I was TERRIBLE

Natalie sang "Doctor Worm" by "They Might be Giants." She did much better than me.

 

Afterwards, we walked (yes! In heels!) to a pizza place that was open until 2am, and I ended up eating FOUR slices of amazing (at least when you're drunk) pizza! By this point, I was in Vacay mode. 

By Monday, I was exhausted, and so I stayed home for a few hours while everyone else went out into town... Guess I can't hang like I used to, haha! But I was all made up and ready to go for that night's fancy dinner, where we had probably the best meals of the entire trip. 

I'd say I clean up pretty well!

We did a little more shopping afterwards, where I got two new t-shirts and some souvenirs. But then it was back to the mansion to pack up for what was supposed to be the end of our trip...

But none of us wanted to separate yet... and none of us needed to either. Jamie and I didn't have flights home until Saturday, Natalie took the entire week off, and Ana, Liz, and Mel were free to do what they wanted... so we decided to book another (albeit less fancy) AirBnB in Rhode Island for another three nights. So we got more hot tub time, more window shopping, a car museum, and just more sisterhood time. By Friday, it was finally time to say goodbye, and while I gave everyone a warm hug, the hugs with Natalie and Ana were extra warm (and that's saying something because the East Coast was in the midst of a record heat wave). We all departed each other, thankful for the full week of sisterhood. 

Last year, I'd gotten a taste of what community with these girls was like during Second Chance Weekend, but after nine full days with them, I can say for certain that they are sisters to me... the exact kind of sisters I have been yearning for. And this girl's trip was exactly what I was hoping for when I first expressed interest in going on a girl's weekend a few years ago. There's a lot that I'm leaving out because I'd rather Ana or Natalie share their stories rather than I share them, but all I know is that I hope we can do this again. Since we all saw each other last June, and again this June, I'm thinking we might make this a June tradition where we do a girl's trip. Though next year, I'm going to really try to get them to come out to California so I can show them my side of things. I think they'd love it here. 

But as the title of this blog says... I've found Sisterhood. And I'm so, so, so thankful for it! Natalie and Ana... you two are real ones, and I'm blessed to call you my friends! 

Hugs!

-Alicia